Before + After — Drinking with Chickens

The sign on the wall is a bit of an inside family joke. Firstly, “Kalamity Kate” is an old nickname from college (and I’ll just let you fill in the blanks with that) (also of note, I always said that if I ever owned a bar, it would be called Kalamity Kate’s) (but, I digress). Secondly, I am one of three siblings, and the only girl. My entire life, my mom (bless her f*#king heart) has lamented the fact that her only daughter somehow wound up with more of a potty mouth than her two sons (that special double standard where she is offended and disappointed that ANY of us would use such language, but she is ESPECIALLY offended that her daughter does. I actually think my brothers are pretty offended by my language, too, just for the record). Every string of expletives that spills out of my mouth is met with my mother’s knee-jerk, standard response of an indignant, dramatic gasp and then, “Katie! Why can’t you just be a delicate flower!??” To which I usually respond with a very immediate, very colorful, very non-flowery but very articulate (in my opinion) retort. So: thus the tongue-in-f*#king-cheek “Mouth Soap” advertisement. Also of note: my mom is the only person allowed to call me Katie. JUST FYI.